YOU BROKE OUR VOW

GgggDear Bunmi, A few months ago, I found a business card with a girl’s name and phone number in my man’s wallet. It was someone in his office and I suspected instantly what was going on. The next time he went away on his numerous business trips, I rang his usual hotel the day I knew he would leave for home. I lied that I was his secretary and I needed to know the name of the colleague he’d stayed with so that I could process their details for the trip. It was a shot in the dark and I was surprised when the receptionist fell for it. She gave me what I wanted and the silly girl had not even changed her name. I later phoned the girl in the office and she was so surprised she told me all that was going on. When my husband tried to bluff his way by denials, I told him his girl had confessed. He just shrugged. He now wants me to turn a blind eye on this affair. I can’t do that, but I can’t leave either. There are our three kids to consider and I want to keep the family together. I saw the other woman a few weeks ago. She’s 20 years younger than my husband – tall, slim and attractive. I don’t know what she sees in him. But despite it all, I still love my husband and I’m going to fight to keep him. Kemi, by e-mail.                                  Dear Kemi, It’s good to see you have made up your mind on exactly what you intend to do. The excitement of an affair really is concealment. Now that you’ve blown the lid off his affair, see how far your man will go with his bit-on-the-side. His girlfriend would one day grow out of his excuses for still sticking with his wife and look for a younger man who would offer her marriage. In the meantime, keep building a good home for the family and get on with each other? It is bad enough discovering that your husband is having an affair and quite heart-wrenching when he refuses to give her up. With a lot of patience, this is one storm you’re bound to overcome.